We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
