Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
