Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
