David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
