i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
