Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
