O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
