the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
