idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
