dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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