you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
