Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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