I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
