you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
