I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
