Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
