tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
