so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
