the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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