Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
