p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want her autograph on my taint
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
