You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
