i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
