I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
