Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
