I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
