Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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