I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
