my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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