I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm going to jail i love you
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
