THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
