I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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