bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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