i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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