Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
