Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
