i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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