Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
