she was so not down for the gang bang
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
