The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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