so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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