Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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