we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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