i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
