i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
