I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
