What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
