i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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