Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
