Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
